Public Speaking: We all doubt ourselves, until we don't

Every once in a while I’m lucky to be in the presence of an interesting, captivating and charismatic speaker that makes me wonder how they got to be as good as they are.  Sure they have practiced, practice DOES make perfect, but how did they acquire the skills to stand up in front of a large crowd with impressively straight posture, discussing an idea so succinctly for 20 minutes without shaking, stuttering or batting an eye? Recently, I decided to change my career path and underwent a certification program that involved a Public Speaking course.  As much as I wanted to take this course and learn to be a great speaker, the idea of actually having to speak in front of a room full of the people unnerved me.  I had never understood people who enrolled in Toastmasters.  After all, who in their right minds enjoys standing in front of a room full of strangers with judging eyes while you're forced to present a topic you likely know nothing about?  Then I realized, how else does one improve your skills?  Presenting to a mirror will only get you so far.

I’ll never forget the first day I went into that public speaking class. At this stage of the program our classmates didn’t know one another very well so I don’t think I’d be alone in saying it was like being in a room full of strangers. I’m sure we all had similar concerns about what was in store for us over the next couple of hours, feelings of self-doubt and worries of dare I say, choking, on the presentation stage.  Then in walked Pamela, our public speaking professor. Now Pamela at first impression can appear intimidating. She is a tall, excellently poised, noticeably professional and attractive woman who smells of confidence. And she hasn’t even begun talking yet. When she does I realize that while she not only smells of confidence, she exemplifies it through every perfectly annunciated syllable that comes out of her mouth.

But then, at some point, I realize I'm not feeling nervous anymore.  I’m actually relaxed and completely engaged in Pamela’s voice. Momentarily I have forgotten that I will at some point in the very near future, be expected to give an impromptu speech in front of all these strangers.  Pamela has that calming energy most of us dream we had. She can make a room full of clammy hand, nervous stutters feel like they not alone in their public speaking fears and can teach you the tools to remove that doubt. Throughout our first session I soaked up more speaking knowledge than I could have ever imagined learning. I left that first session excited to return for the second.

Pamela Hart, founder of Release Your Voice, can teach you to not only communicate confidently in front of a group, but to make people interested in what you’re telling them even.  She'll teach you the skills to pronounciate your words clearer, stand taller, and breathe the same confidence she does.  Our classroom transformed in ways I cannot begin to describe. Those who could not stand on day-one were leading 10-minute presentations by our last session without so much as blinking out of line.  Pamela taught us how to cater our presentations to individual needs and to ensure you have a “little something for everyone” in every presentation you deliver.  Her talent and passion for what she does is incredibly rare and that is why I KNEW I had to find a way for her to partner up with YWiB. I wanted to bottle her skill and share it with everyone I knew; family, friends, even enemies so they could be better people. She’s THAT good.

Pamela Hart is a game changer and I’m so proud she agreed to partner with YWiB and lead our Get Vocalized! confident communication event this Saturday, May 12th at SFU Downtown Campus. Do not miss out as these skills can be used in every aspect of your life both professionally and personally. Tickets are on sale until Thursday, May 10th at noon, purchase yours today.

my {YWiB} story – member highlight: Leah Plumridge

YWiB has expanded and we want you to get to know our newest executive members! Meet one of our Legal Team members!

name| Leah Plumridge social| @LawLeah email| lplumridge@thor.ca

why YWiB |I became a part of YWIB’s legal team in January 2012. I first encountered YWIB at a Professional Women’s Network event where I heard Jen and Paulina speak about their goal of furthering young women in business. Not only was their energy contagious, they also used a number of great quotes from a favourite Ted Talk of mine given by Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook.  When I heard that YWiB was looking for assistance with its organizational structure, I knew this was a perfect opportunity for me to work with some amazing talent while getting an opportunity to ‘give back’ to my community. I have been blessed to have countless incredible female mentors in my life and I am looking forward to every opportunity I get to pay it forward.

childhood ambition| alpine ski racer

my home| vancouver, BC (born in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia)

wildest dream| circumnavigating the globe by my own power

proudest moment|  beating all the men in Super G!

biggest challenge| establishing realistic goals

favorite quote| “don’t take your foot off the gas pedal” ~ Sheryl Sandberg

inspiration| my friends – the women in my life are always going for it. they are ‘yes’ people who look at the glass as half-full and always try to think of how something can be done instead of the reasons why it can’t. they support each other and don’t judge.

chatting with...alex mitchell

So...how 'bout them Canucks? I know our team barely got out of the gate this year in the playoffs, and there was hardly any time to really let it sink in, but I'm still kinda mourning that we won't be watching any canucks hockey this spring.  Lucky for us, this week we talked with Alex Mitchell, Director of Community Partnerships at the Vancouver Canucks, to curb our post-season blues. In her role as Director of Community Partnerships, Alex is responsible for developing and executing all community outreach plans and programs for Canucks Sports & Entertainment by bringing the team into out of arena contact with their fans, and through the Canucks for Kids Fund charity initiatives.  A born and raised Vancouverite, Alex loves to cook, be outdoors and spend time with family and friends. Fun fact: her brother works for the Toronto Maple Leafs, so naturally they have maintained a good family rivalry.

name three people you'd have over for a dinner party.  If it was a girls' dinner I’d invite Tina Fey, Patricia Graham and Hilary Clinton.  And of course my mom would have to come too.

how would you describe your leadership style?   I try to encourage my team to feel confident and successful in their work. I want to motivate them by providing a positive and supportive environment, give them a voice and inspire them to come forward with solutions and ideas.

what's one thing that you think all women in leadership roles need or should have to succeed?  Confidence. A women’s instinct is an asset. Trust yourself in your decisions and push forward.

would you say that professional sports is a "boys' club" stilll, or is that perspective changing?   The ‘boys club’ doesn’t play a part in our business. They hire the right people for the right position and trust us to be experts in our fields.

how can a young woman break into this field?  Go for it as you would any industry and don’t be held back by perceptions that it is a boys' club or otherwise. If you’re the right person for the job, you’ll get it.

what's your favourite part of your job? There is nothing better than introducing a child (or adult!) to one of their hockey heroes – the smiles and reactions are equally priceless and rewarding.

when you're not herding canucks players around like cattle, what can you be found doing outside the rink?  Enjoying time with family and friends, entertaining and enjoying our beautiful city. I love Vancouver and all that it offers.

why do you think women's networks like YWiB and the YWiB philosophy are important for young women in the community?  It’s inspiring to have a network of peers and mentors to share ideas, challenges and successes with. Learning from each other is great motivation!

my {YWiB} story - member highlight: Darya Niknamian

name| Darya Niknamianemail| darya@ywib.ca linkedIn| Darya Niknamian

why YWiB | I joined Young Women in Business for many reasons – to discover more about myself, learn more about business (specifically marketing), have fun, get to know amazing young women, and of course to make an impact! Coming from a Science background and being confused about what I wanted to do made it difficult for me to transition into the business world. I want to provide younger women an opportunity to gain mentorship and access tools that will help them feel confident and equipped when the time comes for them to make a decision about their career.

childhood ambition| to become a paediatrician because I love working with kids!

my home| Originally Berlin, Germany but Vancouver has been my home for most of my life.

wildest dream| Having a TV show with my sister where we would travel the world and showcase different peoples cultures and traditions.

proudest moment|  Skydiving - I am terribly afraid of heights! The next step is scuba diving because I am also afraid of deep water and sharks!

biggest challenge| Putting myself first.

favorite quote| “Tell me and I forget; show me and I remember; involve me and I understand.“ ~Chinese proverb

inspiration| My grandmother – she survived 2 wars, losing family, her house, and friends. She is now 90, works out 2-3 times a week, is the most supportive person I know and believes in living life to the fullest.

chatting with...pamela hart

Sitting down, anytime, with Pamela Hart of Release Your Voice is a special treat.  Having met Pamela through the SFU Public Relations Certificate program where she teaches, I knew she was a connection I wanted to hold on to forever.  Pamela is radiantly energetic and passionate about communication.  She has the magical ability to turn the most nervous public speaker into an impromptu pro in just a few sessions.  It's for this reason I approached Pamela to do an event with YWiB to share her impressive skills with our amazing members.YWiB's newest member, Liz Sauve, was incredibly excited to sit down for a YWiB chit-chat with Pamela and share it with our wonderful community.  Check out her interview and then grab your ticket for our May 12th Get Vocalized! strategic communication event.

name three people you’d like to have a dinner party with

The first would have to be Michelle Obama.  She just seems really cool! I admire her as she doesn't appear to take herself too seriously, yet is a force to be reckoned with.  She has her own style and is not defined by other first ladies that we have seen.  Tommy Douglas is one of the greatest Canadians who embodies what I love about Canada and fosters a real sense of community.  I like the idea that one voice and one idea can change things.  Julia Child would make a delicious dinner.  I met her years ago in Boston shortly before she passed away.  I was in a play and she had nice things to say about every cast member when we met her, she was so gracious.

your career path hasn’t necessarily been linear - you were a theatre princess turned advertising and public relations director, and then in October 2008, you founded your own company, Release Your Voice. what would you say was the biggest challenge you overcame, and how did you do it?

Being in theatre is harder than being up in front of people and speaking now.  I found in theatre I didn't have control over my destiny, directors, they have the control not the actors.  Your destiny in theatre can be decided by factors such as your height.  A turning point for me was when a big actor in Vancouver refused to work with me because I was too tall.  I've worked with Darren Aranofsky and have been on Law and Order, although the experience was great, directors can love you one minute and then the next, they've moved on to another direction.

My biggest regret in leaving theatre would be not having yet won a Tony, but there's still time.  I still feel like I act every day!  I wanted more control over my life and got tired of someone else telling me what to do, so I founded Release Your Voice.  I became an entrepreneur and it blossomed into this business.  Never be afraid to reinvent yourself.

why did you decide to go into the business of coaching others strategic communication skills?

The company was quite broad when it started. I took an entrepreneurship program and thought I'd just do Public Relations but then this woman heard me speak and told me I was an amazing speaker and should share these skills with others.  I discovered that I have an empathetic ear and am good at coaching others in a positive way where people leave sessions feeling good about themselves.  My business grew through word of mouth and the next thing I knew I was off to Kosovo to work internationally.  There was a definite learning curve to being an entrepreneur and there is no such thing as an overnight success.  To be successful takes hard work, but if you love what you do, it's worth it.

 what skills do you find most women are hoping to learn from you?

Often times I find young women are looking to work on their voice because they sound too young and perhaps not professional.  A lot of it is just getting rid of small habits, such as the flirtatious head tilt that a lot of women do.  That is a subordinate behaviour, as is nodding all the time.  You can listen without nodding your head!  It's small, non-verbal things like this that can lead to a woman not being taken seriously.

In different cultures some women have been silenced.  Women need to learn they have a right to say whatever is on their mind.  Women are strong but you'd be surprised how many times I have been told that I've helped a woman find her voice after she has left an abusive relationship.  It's sad to me that so many women find themselves in those positions but it feels really good to know I have helped someone find their voice and feelempowered.

you list your interests as theatre, yoga, reading, and Africa. you also travel a lot for your work with international dignitaries and women in foreign nations. how do you juggle running your own company, travel, and still manage time to focus on your own personal interests?

This work-life balance has been the hardest thing for me and I'm just now starting to get a handle on it.  The first step is being able to say that I can't do it all, nor do I want to do it all.  Be realistic.  Ask for help when you need it because it's okay to not be great at everything!  Once you become more established, it's important to spend your time doing what you most value and surrounding yourself with positive people.

Try to find at least 25 minutes every day of downtime.  In Kosovo, I work with a lady named Bonnie, who was the PR Director for Prime Minister Mulroney.  She encouraged me to schedule everything - yoga, lunch, etc.  Also, fixing my technology has been a big thing.  Getting everything to jive together and working with someone else so that you don't wake up to 300 e-mails before you can start your day.  I'd rather spend a minimum amount of time on e-mail and a maximum amount of time planning my business, my future.

why do you think YWiB and the YWiB values are important for women in local as well as international business communities?

I think that these types of communities are incredibly important.  They are all about support and as women it's good for us to be able to talk with one another.  These conversations and having a sense of community, knowing that we are not alone, gives us power and acts as a sanctuary - a place in which women can be women.  We allow ourselves to have open conversations and laugh, give feedback and get reinforcement for who we are and what we want.

It's important for women to recognize they are not competing all the time for everything.  We can do the same things and still work together. This is one of the reasons I look forward to speaking at the Get Vocalized! Event on May 12th - I am so impressed with what YWiB is all about.  In the African American community, we have women called 'play mothers'.  Your play mothers are the wise people in your life, in addition to your biological mother, and I think it is really important to pass legacies off to future generations.  You know that saying "I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger?", well I want you all to know what I wish I knew at your age.

To learn more about Pamela Hart and how to Release Your Own Voice – come to the next YWiB event Get Vocalized! On May 12^th.  Tickets are on sale today and they will go fast, don’t miss out!  Location to be finalized.

my {YWiB} story - member highlight: Christina Low

name| christina lowsocial| twitter: @christinal159 email| christina@ywib.ca

why YWiB| i applied for a marketing manager position at ywib in november 2011 with the intent of flexing my creative muscle in a way that gives back to the community and would help me meet inspiring women in my own city.  so far, so good!

childhood ambition| to be some sort of michael/janet jackson hybrid.

my home| burnaby, bc.

wildest dream| to be a guest on ellen.

proudest moment|  graduating from university.

biggest challenge| to push myself past my comfort zone.

favorite quote| "you see, there's something else i'm going to do - only i don't know what it is. all I know is this isn't it for me." - john lennon.

inspiration| my parents, my big brother, chaos, kindness.

Hidden Work Rules They Don’t Teach You in School

I’ve been doing the full-time work thing for almost five years now.  During university I also did four co-op work terms, which had me slugging it 9 to 5 every other semester starting in my second year.  I thought I had it all figured out when I graduated.  But there are certain things that you don’t necessarily learn until you’ve been on the job for a while, and I’m here to share, enlighten, or maybe just offer a friendly reminder of the hidden rules I’ve picked up.  Whether you’re an accountant, a teaching assistant, a marketing manager or a sweater-folder at the Gap, here are a few tips and tricks that are sure to get you moving up – fast.  See you at the top, ladies! Do every job well. On the first day at my first co-op job, my very first task was – I kid you not – getting an extra hot grande soy latte from the Starbucks across the street for the Executive Director.   I wrote down the order, went to Starbucks, fetched the coffee and brought it back.  The ED was pleased.  My next task was to make photocopies of a rather large document and collate the pages into a coiled book.  I made sure I had all the pages and that they were in order, and then used the in-house hole puncher to finish off the coiled book.  The ED took that to a Very Important Meeting.  Pretty soon I was being asked to write content for the web, create posters and flyers, and get on the phone with high-level people I didn’t think I would ever get to talk to, being the lowly co-op student.  Don’t be impatient for seniority.  The way to get promoted from assistant is to be a fantastic assistant.

Cover your tracks with emails. People are busy.  People are doing a million things at once.  I find that unless things are written down, it’s almost like they never happened.  After meetings or phone calls, I always write emails to those I’m working with to confirm action items and follow-up info.  Not only is this appreciated at the executive level, but it’s also a way for me to recap what I’m responsible for and make sure that I’m on the right track, too.

Keep a “Yay Me!” file. It doesn’t have to be called that, but you should keep a running list of all your accomplishments and successes.  Use this when it comes time for your performance review, or when you’re updating your resume.  When you’re able to demonstrate your success using tangible examples, good things happen – a promotion, a raise, a better job elsewhere, your boss’ utmost respect.  It’s a win-win all around.

Be honest if you make a mistake. Nobody is perfect, and no one expects you to be either.  If you make a mistake, own it.  Apologize once and then get to work trying to fix it.  Bosses like results and solutions.  You’re allowed to quietly beat yourself up for one day only (because I know all you YWiB-ers are perfectionists and probably stress big-time if you screw up – I’m one of you, too!), then move on.  Making mistakes means you’re trying, and the important thing is to learn from them.

Know when to trade up. I grew up with baby-boomer parents who worked because they had to take care of their families – not necessarily because they got a thrill from the jobs they were doing.  I personally want to like my work.  So when I found myself getting bored and complacent at a job I had done for about three years, I knew it was time to start looking for something else.  Of course, I could have stayed, because I was getting paid well, I knew everybody, it was downtown and I was comfortable.  The thing is, though, you don’t learn anything about who you are or what you’re capable of when you’re comfortable.  It’s only outside of your comfort zone that you really figure out what you can do.  Stretch yourself a little, and know that it’s perfectly fine – expected, even – to want something different.  You don’t have employment ADD – you just want to think more, do more, and be more.  And that’s okay.

And one last itty bitty rule that people seem to forget...it’s always better to be overdressed than under. Dress pants > jeans. Blouses > t-shirts. Heels > flats. If you have to ask yourself “Would this be okay at the office?” it’s probably not.

Are there any other rules you’ve learned while on the job?  Is there anything that you’ve learned the hard way?  Share with us!